Friday, September 2, 2011

I Don't Belong Here

I was cleaning stuff off my desk the other day and I found this. It's a loose page that had fallen off my journal that I write to God.

Journal Entry

Drew Barrymore once said in "Never Been Kissed", someone once told her you have to write about what you know. Well, this is what I know.

I've never belonged. I don't belong on earth. I have a home and it's not here. My daddy sent me away when I wasn't even born but with every year that goes by, I long more for home. I am surrounded in a world made out of sin. Nothing good lives here. I am fighting a battle with myself daily. Part of me likes the apple. It is delicious and it draws me, calls me, chanting my name every second of my life. There's another part of me that wants him. That needs him. That craves him - he's  my father - I've never met him, but I know he loves me more than I know or could imagine. I want to go home. I want to go home. My mind chants. I need to see him. To feel his warm embrace. To hear his voice. To sit on his lap. I don't want to cry anymore. I want/need to sleep in peace. I am so torn inside. I need him more than I need to breathe. A passion inside me stirs, a holy one for someone I've never met but who's impression is forever imprinted in my heart. I know I will know him when I see him, for who doesn't recognize their creator [father]?

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Reading that makes me feel special and loved, and makes me realize that I'm not just another girl

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