Thursday, October 13, 2011

Castle On A Cloud

A very late post, this was meant to be posted QUITE a while ago.

There is a castle on a cloud,
I like to go there in my sleep,
Aren't any floors for me to sweep,
Not in my castle on a cloud.

There is a room that's full of toys,
There are a hundred boys and girls,
Nobody shouts or talks too loud,
Not in my castle on a cloud.

There is a lady all in white,
Holds me and sings a lullaby,
She's nice to see and she's soft to touch,
She says "Cosette, I love you very much."

I know a place where no one's lost,
I know a place where no one cries,
Crying at all is not allowed,
Not in my castle on a cloud.

- Les Miserables

I am a movie nerd.
There, my dirty little secret is confessed.
I am the movie guru.
I know everything.

Well maybe not everything. But the important stuff. I've been out of the loop lately, because I felt like it.
It's a type of lost and wandering feeling. 
Before you try to become a lost wanderer and become a disciple of moi, let me just remind you that there will be consequences. Such as, not knowing when your favourite movies are going to come out, or friends messaging you on Facebook because you apparently disappeared. Parents thinking your seriously anti-social and such a dreamer.
Lately, I hate dreaming up scenarios in my head, twisting and manipulating scenes, arguments, verbal conversations, emails, Facebook chats, phone conversations. Dreaming about my future is of very little use to me. You see my little friends, I'm a pessimist. If you always look on the good side of things, honey you will always be let down. Because nothing ever happens the way one plans it to, let alone the way they imagine it to be. In your mind, the possibilities are endless and in our sad world the sky's the limit and even planes soar above our skyline.
Okay, maybe I'm such a negative girl because of what's happened to me. Let's take a step further shall we?
I've seen people who have this massive dream, and their so excited. But alas! They don't weigh the two outcomes in their minds and then all hell breaks lose. I know a girl, who had this wonderful dream. (No, idiot I'm not talking of myself in third person.) Her one wish, small as it may seem to this cruel, cruel world was to marry a handsome prince who loved her. Life virtually slapped her in the face and now she's knocked up, about to produce a kid, and where's her prince charming? Sleeping around that's what, and yet if he wishes to change, she's going to take him back. She doesn't love him, but it's the right thing to do right? That's what she tells me everyday and night. She's experienced what's it like to be loved, but that same lover married someone else. Now she's grasping onto straws, losing her mind. If I was her I would divorce him. Then again, I wouldn't have married that arsehole in the first place. You see people, I am the youngest in the family and watching my two sisters date and then marry, I learned what not to do, what not to say, how to act, how to lie, what to wear when you go out with a boy, and what boys are really like.

I'm sorry to burst your hairy fairy bubble of love, but ALL guys are bastards. There is probably 1% of good, honest boys in this world, which leaves with 99% of jerks who just want to get in your pants.
No I don't have much faith in the male population.

But I do LOVE BOYS. Ask anyone of my friends and they will tell you that I AM BOY CRAZY.
I just don't have faith in the current boy population, I know.
I'll probably marry some nice French man, who doesn't know about me and I don't know about him, but we fall madly in love and elope, much to my parent's disdain.
No seriously, if I was to marry(marriage is a stupid institution if you ask me), I would have to love that bastard to bits and pieces of French custard. 
When I was little, whenever I saw a rom com movie and I especially loved the couple I would write down their names in my journal, and pretty soon the list grew bigger, with couples from books and plays, and music, and celebrities, and movies. Mostly movies and books. I had this whole list thing going on, with all their names but I can't find it now. I would have put it up now otherwise. It would be hard to revise the list now on this post because I have watched SO many movies and read so many books. 

When I was a little girl, my mama always told me to pray for my future husband, and God forbid I did too. Until one day I thought it was rubbish and gave it up, now all I do sometimes is think about him, and sometimes say 'I wish you were here.' (By the way Avril Lavgine's new song, by that same title is gorgeous and lovely, and sad, and amazing. Please check it out.)
I used to write him letters, till I TORE THEM ALL UP.

I shall leave you with this post from my Journal. 

I don't know your name, but I've been thinking about you lately.
I know your're out there, and I'm tired of waiting but I'm not ready to meet you. In fact, I don't think I ever will be. I'm weird and quirky and not really beautiful. Well, I am - sometimes, I guess. You're never gonna read this so let me lay all my cards on the table. 

When I think of you..........

I think of your hand on the small of my back.
Your warm hand doesn't give me warmth but a jolt of electricity.
I don't want to love you the way I've seen in life but the way I've seen in books.
That crazy passionate soul mate type.
I can't believe I'm WRITING this!!
I want to feel comfortable around you, I want butterflies too, but I don't want to be nervous.
I don't even know why you'll like me because you'll probably be like so hot. :S 
Why am I writing this down?
I want you like Grace wants Daniel.

And there we go losers, another journal entry, and for those utter bogans reading my blog who don't know that lovely couple above. Their from my favourite paranormal book, The Dark Divine, by Bree Despain.

Look it up bitches, this is Just Another Girl signing out. 

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